throwaway pancake: it's not good-bye...

Mark and Jenny.

Our friends Jenny and Mark and their daughter Nikelle left Saturday for their new home in Phoenix. Terrible time of the year to move to Arizona, right? It’s gotta be a bazillion degrees there. But for most of us, any time of the year would be a bad time for them to move. Jenny has always been kind of the ringleader of our little crew. Of all our group of friends, she’s the one who knits everyone together. I met Jenny about 15 years ago when she and Mark were working at a print company and I was a client. She invited me to a last-minute houseboat trip to Lake Powell.

Nikelle and Jenny at Brooke's birthday party, snuggling
Tagg when he was just 1 week old.

My sister Tiffany and I went not knowing a soul – we barely knew Jenny! – and had a ball. The houseboat was called the Diane. It was a teeny older houseboat with hideous wood paneling, no AC, and a big box in the back that was supposed to serve as some kind of ice chest. At the time, it seemed like the Ritz to us. Our first trip to Lake Powell became the infamous “blah-blah-blah” trip, named for the closing line of an epic whiskey-fueled fight between two big guys we barely knew - and Jenny was right in the middle of it all trying to referee. She thought we’d never come back again but lo and behold, we did. About 50 more times!

Nikelle has always loved Tagg and Sloane. Good "big sister!"

One of the first times I met Scott was at Jenny’s house and I swear I should pay her for the counseling she’s given me over the course of our relationship. If it weren’t for her, I’m not sure we’d be together today. But not only did she help get us through some rough spots, she and my sister were at the altar with us at our wedding. In typical Jenny fashion, she made sure that they had matching black dresses (I was fine with anything as long as it was black) and fresh flowers in their hair.

Girls trip to Catalina for my birthday,
age shall not be named.

For years, before we had our own big boat, we used to tag along on Mark and Jen’s boat, Body Shots, for weekend camping trips at Lake Powell. All four of us tucked into what we know now is a pretty small space and yet somehow it was always awesome. We’d make bloody marys in the morning and Jenny and I would cook up an elaborate breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon and potatoes while Mark grumbled that cereal would be just fine and so much faster. Those trips are some of my favorites – ghost stories around the campfire (Blair Witch, anyone?), gas-bomb campfires, some crazy couple fights….aaaah, good times.

The first and only half-marathon we've talked
Jenny into. There's only so much she'll do for the girls
even if there is free wine at the end of the 13.1 miles!

It feels like this is kind of a memorial, right? It’s not meant to be. But as I was watching them get in their black SUV, packed to the roof with stuff, I wanted it to be all of us heading down to the lake for a weekend not them moving 11 hours away. I already miss knowing she’s “right there.” If Jenny is gone, will we all stay friends? It’s already been tough the last few years keeping the crew together. We used to be inseparable but now we all seem to be at different life stages – some people have new kids, old kids, school kids, some people are having grandkids while some are just getting married and having first babies, and some are totally single and living footloose and fancy free. Everyone’s work schedules are crazy and oddly enough we don’t have those couple of long weekends a year at Lake Powell on the Diane to keep us all together. A few times a year, we manage to all get together at a Christmas party or a barbecue but it’s rare and it always seems like someone is missing.

Mark, Sean and Scott at one of the infamous Halloween parties.

So what happens now? Do we become those friends who swear to keep in touch and visit and actually do, or do we drift even further apart? Or are we those friends who only talk a couple of times a year but when you do, it’s just like yesterday? No matter what happens, I know in my heart that Jenny will always be one of my best friends. What that looks like, I’m not sure. But for now, to use her words, it’s not good-bye…it’s we’ll see you soon.