it's in the cards

When you marry a man, you marry his whole family.

I know. This is not a news flash.

Or maybe it is. I always seem to be counseling my younger friends and co-workers to make sure you know what you're getting into. Every major event in your life from here on out is going to be shared with these people - they can make it wonderful or they can make it hell.

I remember really liking Scott's family when I first met them 13 years ago. My first recollection is of going to Sunday dinner at their house. I actually think it was Thanksgiving dinner but Scott thinks it was just a normal family dinner so we'll go with that. I was completely intimidated. Not just to meet my boyfriend's family (and, honestly, at the time I was barely sure he was even boyfriend material) but they were...Mormons. Really Mormon. For a girl who drinks and swears like a reality TV star trying to make a good first impression, it was a nerve-wracking and -wrecking experience. But they were great even though I dropped the G-bomb (God) about a half-dozen times. Apparently this is the equivalent of saying "fuck" when you are in the company of Mormons. Scott had warned me. And yet I was so worried about inadvertently dropping the actual F-bomb, I totally forgot to watch out for the G-bomb. Hey, in my defense, they were the ones who wanted to play cards. That totally brings out the competitive, locker-room trash-talking sailor in me. My God, what the fuck do you expect?

It was the card nights that really showed me that this was meant to be. They play the same card games as my family (devout card players, one and all) except what we call "Oh Hell" they call "Knock Knock." And they play with the same competitiveness and good-natured ribbing as my family does.  Maybe a little less competitive. I've never heard of any of them being banned from a good game of Cancellation Hearts like my dad and I are banned from playing Monopoly.

I think everyone should think about not just the man they marrying but the family. If they come from good, fun, loving , hard-working, big-hearted people who are kind of like your people, you've got a pretty good shot. If they like to play cards, things are looking good. And if nothing else, at least you'll look forward to family vacations and Thanksgiving dinners for the next 50 years.