mothers' day

My friends had sweet, all-smiley pix with their kids for Mothers Day.
This is our best take...Tagg wishing he was throwing rocks in the pond,
and Sloane going for my bracelet. At least my eyes are open.
Welcome to my mom life! I L-O-V-E it.

Mother's Day, for me, is an incredibly special day. There were days, years even, where I never thought I would be somebody's mom. I love my mother so much, and my mother-in-law and my aunts and so many of my friends are amazing, incredible and inspirational moms that I feel honored to be in "the club." Scott and I had a little romantic escape at Snowbird that included a lovely dinner, a hot tub with mountain views, and much-needed massages in the morning, and then we spent a fun-filled day with the kids. Perfect Mothers' Day in my opinion.

And then I got this text from Juno: Happy Mother's Day! I hope it is a great one :) love you all so much!

AND this Facebook message from Bella: I hope your Mother's Day is wonderful [: You deserve it! I think I could have interviewed every mom in the world, and still never found one that came close to you!

I cried a little. Happy tears. They made me feel...like a Mother. I'm not sure how to describe this exactly, because I feel like a mother every day when I'm with Tagg and Sloane. But I think somehow when you're an adoptive parent, especially one with such an open relationship with your birth parents, you feel like you share these children in a way. At least that's how it is for me.

Sure, you're their mom. You do all the hard stuff - diapers and discipline, patience and potty training, late nights and last-minutes, college savings accounts and clean up. But you get all the good stuff too - the hugs, the night-night kisses, the "firsts," the giggles, the random and hilarious comments and dances, and all those moments that make parenthood so delicious. But for me, I share these children with their birth moms. I'm aware, always, that I made a pact with them and our babies to be not just a "whatever" mom, but a great mom. And that's not always an easy promise to live up to.

So knowing that I not only get the joy of this handsome, clever, hilarious boy and this adventurous, lovely, whip-smart girl, not to mention the entire "mom" experience...and that they support me in the journey? That they appreciate me and respect our relationship enough to send those messages? Next to my children, that is THE best Mothers' Day gift I could ever hope for. And every success that these girls have in their lives is just a special bow on top. A bow that makes me proud and warm inside. I hope to get the same gift every year. It will just get richer and more special as time goes on.

I still never know exactly how to respect their place in this relationship. Hallmark doesn't make "birth mom" Mothers Day cards. And it seems like it could be offensive or hurtful, or something not right, to send them a card or an email acknowledging that it's their day too in a weird, unconventional way. No matter what, I hope they know that every moment of every Mothers Day and most days, we have them in our hearts and minds. Because without their mother's love, I would not be celebrating this very special day.

*There's an Open Adoption Round Table blog about Mothers Day...lots of great conversations that we are now part of...