the star quilt

When we met Sloane's baby mama and grandma today, they gave her a very special gift...a star quilt. Apparently it was supposed to be for Christmas but it took a little journey around the country to get completed. Well worth the wait!

Sloane's birth father is half Sioux and these quilts are a tribal tradition that started in the late 19th century when the tribes were relegated to the reservations, the buffalo herds had disappeared and the missionaries taught new ways to express their art through quilting. My mother is a quilter and I knew that there must be a story behind the design so I did a little snooping online and the stories are beautiful, and they make the meaning behind this lovely gift so much more rich and layered.

The triangular points of the star symbolize the quilter's reaching out from the middle star, which forms a circle. They reach out to loved ones, drawing them back to the sacred circle. When you are given a Star Quilt it is truly a gift of warmth and honor. Star quilts hold several symbolic representations of life, spirituality, and community for the Native Americans. It represents that it takes a community to make a whole.


The star quilt tells a story, just like the painted buffalo hides. The colors red, black, white, and yellow are symbolic to the Lakota. Black Elk is quoted as saying, “Black is for the west where the thunder beings send us rain. White is for the north, where the great white cleansing wind comes. Red is for the east where springs the light and the morning star. Yellow is for the south, where summer comes along with the power to grow.”

"Arise!  Arise!  Come see the morning star."  This centuries old call from the camp crier, as he rode through the Indian encampment, awakened the people to their day. For the Northern Plains Indians of the Dakotas, the sighting of the morning star still heralds a new beginning, a new day dawning.

And they sometimes hide little
messages in the fine needlework patterns
in the quilt. Found it!

I love that. Sloane's adoption was a new beginning for our family and for Bella and Jacob and all of us, as a community, will create a wonderful and whole life for her.

Apparently the women of the tribe often bestow these star quilts as gifts for a new baby, welcoming them to the family, so it's especially sweet that this one came from Bella and her mom and her mom's mom, and that they place so much value on Jacob's Native American heritage and want her to be proud of it and want it to be part of her. I love that Sloane gets to have some of this history and culture to weave into her life. We have a lot to learn, but it will be fun to do it together!

Of course, this also means I'm going to have to redecorate her room to match because it's so lovely. Great!

a first anniversary

It was a year ago yesterday that we got a random email from a girl I used to work with. I totally loved her - for the minute or so we worked together. She reminded me of Meg Ryan in her glory days. Perky, and bright and someone you want to be around. I'm not even sure how she got my email address but I'm glad she did! I remember reading, with shock, that she had a niece who was pregnant and wanted to place the baby for adoption. Since she knew we'd been through it, did I have any advice for her niece? Uh, yeah! Give that baby to us! We had literally just met with an adoption agency a week before and didn't really like them but we were starting the process. How weird is this?! Fate, anyone? So I tried to be helpful and let her know we were interested without being too, well, too greedy.

Sure enough that weekend I spoke with Bella's grandmother over the phone and she was amazing and had lovely things to say about her granddaughter and how bright and responsible and incredible she was. Before you knew it we had a first "date" scheduled. We met at Starbucks at the Gateway on February 8th. I had just flown back in from running the Surf City half marathon in California with Natalie and I was a little tired, a little sore, and completely nervous about meeting Bella and her mom. What would they be like? What if they thought we were dorks or obnoxious or something? What do you wear? What do you say? What do you order? (come on, you know a coffee order says a lot about you!) How do you even know if it's them? Do you just walk up to someone who looks pregnant and hope you're not about to make a horribly awkward mistake? It's literally like smashing a first date, job interview, meeting the parents for the first time all into one and then ratcheting up the pressure just a little bit more.

Well, the meeting ended up being wonderful. Bella and her mom were just darling and it almost immediately felt like we'd known them forever. We showed them the books we make for Tagg's birth family and talking about...I don't even remember what. I just hope I was making actual sentences that made sense. I remember walking away from that Starbucks, holding Scott's hand, with this overwhelming sense of...right. It's like a warm feeling that fills your heart, that teeters between the most hopeful hope and a twinge of fear that this amazingness you want so badly won't materialize.

fast-forward one year...

Today we went to meet Bella and her mom for lunch to kind of celebrate the one-year anniversary of our first meeting. They hadn't seen Sloane in almost 3 months and after a little rocky start where she burst into tears when we first walked into the restaurant, she was really good, as was Tagg. Sloane chewed on Sierra's necklace, ate a whole piece of corn bread and showed off her new teeth.

It was a beautiful day considering it's January in Utah, so we walked down to the Starbucks where we first met and had a coffee and took some photos to commemorate the event. Amazing to think that just a year ago, we were so full of hope and nerves and today it was like seeing family. We have this joyous, lovely little girl to adore every day and this special relationship. Pretty special.


Tagg made the most of the trip...in the water fountain. In January. In his clothes. He had a BALL! I guess I can no longer mock those parents who pack up a cooler and sit and watch their kids play in the fountain at the mall in the summer. After we said our good-byes, we headed straight down to Baby Gap and bought him some new, DRY clothes, all the way down to his shoes and socks. I'll bet that place makes a fortune off of water fountain-suckers like us.

The water damage is done. Tagg's new threads...cute and on sale!

happy new year!

Well, I'm only three weeks late getting the New Years blog up. I think that means I've broken a resolution! Or maybe that I never started any. Hard to tell!

We spent the night at Mark and Jenny's which was awesome. We had a ball playing with the kids and trying out our new Wii games. Dance Party is a riot. I'm not sure the video of us ladies rocking our Ke$ha is worthy of prime time, but watching Nikelle and Tagg mimic the dance moves behind us on the pool table is priceless!

Tagg managed to make it all the way to midnight, with a certain amount of encouragement from Nikelle who ran laps with him around the living room till midnight, after the dance party! Where do they get the energy?! Sloane didn't quite have that kind of staying power, thank goodness! And for some crazy reason, me and Tiff who are usually the first ones to sneak off to bed were on a tear that night. Must have been all the Wii-drenaline or something but we just kept going and going. Jenny finally called it at about 3:30...no more Wii, girls! Your babies are going to be up early! She was right. Like clockwork, they were wide awake at 7:30am. Luckily they were both up for family nap time that day! A pretty great way to start the new year!

Sloane snoozed through her
first New Year's Eve but she got kisses
from mommy and daddy and big brother.

Tagg's still learning how to "cheese."

Tagg & Nikelle take a break
from running laps in the living room.

Nikelle loves baby Sloane.