From February 1, 2010:
There are days in life when you just don’t get it. What life's all about, the ups, the downs. Today is one of those days.
We just barely started thinking about pursuing the adoption thing hard core about 3 weeks ago when, out of the blue, an old co-worker from DEA who I haven’t seen in years emails me at my work saying she has a niece who’s pregnant with a little girl due in May, planning on adoption and looking for some advice. My first reaction was “we want her!” but I tried to be slightly less selfish and help her navigate the process.
On Friday, Bella emailed us asking if we could meet for coffee on Monday. A couple of days earlier, the adoption agency we’d been talking to called and asked if we could have a profile ready by Monday because they were meeting a birth mom on Monday who was due in May. Sounded a little too similar so we figured it was the same girl. Nope. We haven’t even finished our paperwork, haven’t paid a dime, nothing and now 2 birth moms due in the same month are considering giving us their child to complete our family. How amazing is that?! Could we be any more blessed than to have this opportunity?
The flipside…Dan’s brother Phil, my ass cancer friendie whom I’ve never actually met, is dying. His doctor sent out the call to the family to come and say their good-byes. He had the same cancer at the same age (just a year later), did virtually the same treatment with the same doctor and was fine. Got married, had a baby, a life. And then the coughing started. It was in his lungs. More chemo, more radiation. Gone. Then back. Bye-bye lungs. Family is scared. I am scared. Gone again. Then back. This time it’s in the brain. Don’t get your hopes up even though you have to keep your hopes up. And then, today, it’s time say good-bye.
A chat from Phil's family that night…
dan said if it wasn't for lisa, phil never would have had as much time with his little girl. i thought she should know
And that is the kind of thing that makes you happy and sad, grateful but guilty, thankful but fearful. Inspired to keep sharing my story and helping, hoping to save people or at least to remember to enjoy every possible moment of my life and my health and my good fortune. Or maybe it's both.
