ten years today...

I found out I had cancer 10 years ago today. I think. Would you ever think that you wouldn't remember the exact day you got that call? I didn't. But I don't. I can't remember if it was the 11th or the 13th. I remember the day I found out I was cancer-free. August 13th, 2001. But the day I was diagnosed is just some random day in the middle of April.

The day I found out, I was at work at Huddleston Malone Design. I'd had my colonoscopy a few days before and I'd been having this nagging feeling that something was definitely not right for a few months. I even signed up for AFLAC cancer insurance about 3 days before I got tested. (Let me just say, I hadn't even paid a premium and thought if anything came of the test, they would pull the pre-existing condition card. They never did. As a matter of fact, AFLAC paid every claim with no grumping, groaning, hassle or anything. It was amazing and it saved us while I was going through treatment! I am a HUGE fan of the duck! Until he started making fun of Japan...but I still love the insurance!)

So the phone rang that spring day, and I answered, and the doctor's office said, "The polyps tested positive for cancer. Can you visit a colorectal surgeon this afternoon?" Are you shitting me? You just told me I have cancer over the phone. While I'm at work?! I don't know a better way to do it, but that sucked.

"Sure," I said. And then I went to a meeting. I'm serious. Because, you know, nothing had changed after that phone call and if I just pretended life was fine, it would be fine. I didn't even call Scott or my family and tell them. Denial, anyone? About halfway through the meeting I had to leave and I called Scott and told him and then tried to navigate the drive home through tears and shock and stuff.

I mean, what the hell! I was supposed to be getting married in a few months. So, with chemo and stuff I'd be skinny but bald? Not good! And let's not forget...this is CANCER. The big C. When you do the whole "till death do you part" business during the ceremony, you don't already want to have cancer in the mix. Tragic.

Ten years ago today might be the worst day ever. I'm glad it's all working out so that every day since is pretty much the best day ever.