hello, princess

Morgan knows she's up to
no good...but she's got her back.

My baby girl is about to turn one. She's got a personality all her own...she's crafty and independent, good natured and giggly, and incredibly proud of her shenanigans. Like pushing her princess wagon over to the couch so she can climb up the sofa and hang from the banister railings or peer out the window.

But as I look at Sloane, perched on her princess wagon and think about all of the pink frilly clothes in her closet and drawers, I wonder...how do I keep her from being a princess? How do you raise a little girl to be strong, independent, empowered, free in this day and age? I feel like women have more opportunity than ever to be and do whatever they want but I'm also concerned about the power of marketing and how you teach your kids to filter out the crap. And I'm in marketing!

So, you're probably thinking I'm completely paranoid but here a few examples:

the princess principle

How many Disney princess things does your daughter have? Mine doesn't have a lot...one Snow White figurine (a movie she's never seen because it's just too scary. For me.) and this crazy princess car thing that bursts into princess songs at random times when there's no-one in the room. Creepy.

Of course, she's 11 months old. I have friends whose daughters have closets full of every princess dress imaginable, sparkle high heels, light-up high heels, tiaras, wings, the works. I always thought that was cute. Heck, when we babysat Nikelle we'd take her to the store dressed up in full Princess regalia. Who doesn't want to dress like a princess?! If they made that stuff in my size, I would wear it out. I mean, we adults only get to dress up one day a year so I'm thinking the princess outfits are cool.

And then I saw this book review...Cinderella Ate My Daughter.

"Okay, your prince has come. Not content with being a prince, however, he wants to go back to school and become a dentist. The royal family disowns him because, really, a dentist?

That's OK. You love him. You work two jobs to put him through dentistry school. The week after he graduates, he dumps you for the Little Mermaid.

Welcome to the real world of the Disney princesses."

So, apparently Sloane is going to be a doctor or a scientist or a teacher for every single Halloween till she's 18.

age appropriate?

This article from today freaked me out - Parents, Don't Dress Your Girls Like Tramps!  Here's a little excerpt from LZ Granderson:

I saw someone at the airport the other day who really caught my eye.

Her beautiful, long blond hair was braided back a la Bo Derek in the movie "10" (or for the younger set, Christina Aguilera during her "Xtina" phase). Her lips were pink and shiny from the gloss, and her earrings dangled playfully from her lobes.

You can tell she had been vacationing somewhere warm, because you could see her deep tan around her midriff thanks to the halter top and the tight sweatpants that rested just a little low on her waist. The icing on the cake? The word "Juicy" was written on her backside.

Yeah, that 8-year-old girl was something to see all right. ... I hope her parents are proud. Their daughter was the sexiest girl in the terminal, and she's not even in middle school yet.

WHOA! I mean, are you shitting me?! Parents not only let their 8 year old wear this stuff but they bought it for her! I've been kind of freaked out about this kind of stuff for awhile...it started with JonBenet Ramsey and culminates with Toddlers & Tiaras (great spoof with Tom Hanks), the sheer volume of little girls I see with dyed hair, fake nails, pedicures. When should it start? Where should it end? I know I couldn't get my nails or hair "done" until I could pay for it. In high school. Does that mean my parents were abusive, or responsible?

what's with the pink and the prejudice?

Sloane has a lot of pink clothes. But I really try to make sure she's not just a little cotton candy girl so I buy her lots of other color clothes as well. The tutus that are so "in?" I've never managed to take her out of the house it one. Just seems like too much. But I have to ask myself...does my aversion to too much pink make me guilty of feeding into the gender stereotyping?

This story blew up this week - J. Crew's Toenail-Painting Ad Causes Pink Scare. I mean, maybe I'm crazy, but I LOVE those moments with my son. Sure we usually paint our nails black because that's what I have but apparently it's still turning him into a transgender kid? WTF?!

As John Stewart or someone said, if you've spent a whole day with a 2 year old, you'll do pretty much anything to keep them entertained! That is no joke! I have to believe that activities with your children that generate this kind of joy are good and pure. The diatribe that this photo has spawned leave me a little speechless. Do people really think that pink fingernail polish will turn a little boy gay any more than wearing pants would turn a little girl into a lesbian. And even if it did, who cares?! As long as your child is healthy, kind and loving, respectful and successful at whatever they want to be, and has a lot of joy, love and laughter in their life, does it really matter?

So anyway. I'm all interested in this right now. I don't know how I'll handle it...tomorrow or for the next 18+ years. All I can hope is that I'm always open and accepting enough that Sloane and Tagg know that no matter what they are loved, for just who they are. And, deep down, we're all princesses hoping for the happy ending.