what is family?

I was watching a Teen Mom adoption reunion special tonight (shut up...there's some reality TV I just can't say no to) and (A) my mascara is running down to my chin, (B) I'm baffled that only 3 of all the 16 & Pregnant girls placed their babies for adoption, and (C) why, why, why aren't more girls considering adoption as an alternative to keeping babies with immature, unhelpful baby-daddies, no jobs, no school and gobs of stress?

I'm not going to get into a big "you should place your baby for adoption" thing. But there was only one couple who seemed really at peace with their decision - Catelynn and Tyler. And their relationship with their adoptive parents is a lot like ours. Very open and supportive, and the teens seem to be doing about the best of most of the kids featured on this show,  and they talk about their relationship almost like it's family.

And that started me wondering...in this day and age, when "family" means so many things - half-brothers, step-sisters, live-in boyfriend slash father figures, grandparents parenting, part-time Brady bunch families, siblings as caretakers, who knows what all - what is a family? Isn't it really just having a connection with people? Something that starts with respect and is amplified by love and a common interest in...happy. Seems pretty basic to me. So why does having that "adoption" label make everything so different?

For us..and I think for Catelynn and Ty and their adoptive parents...family is something really different and special. I think the relationship starts somewhere awkward and a little scary and unique and then, if you're lucky, it grows over time until these people and their families become like nieces and nephews, or special aunts and uncles. Friends. Family. They are people who love you and want nothing but love and joy and success for you and yours. Of course, they do. They have a vested interest in your life.

And you have the same feelings for them. Kids...You had better finish high school. Get your degrees. Fall in love and have the family you were meant to. Enjoy life. Be successful.

And for our kids, they get to know that they have all kinds of family. And that the choices that were made were hard, but they were made out of love. And they'll know that because the people who made them are part of their circle of family.