Another New Years Day, another opportunity for resolutions. As we celebrated the New Year last night at Mark and Jenny’s with Brad, Lori and Tiff and the kids, everyone was asking what my resolution was. I have so many in my head, like somehow I can take this new year as an opportunity to change ALL of the things I don’t like or want to be better at and shove them into one, singular New Year’s Resolution. The best I could come up with was this: Balance. Ambiguous, yes?!
Well, here’s how I’m breaking it down in my head. The trick is that they’re not in any particular order but they all get balanced attention. That’s a lot to juggle but I know I can do it. So I’m putting some “objectives” for each and then some specific strategies to help support the vision of what I can become. Scott and I have made a deal that on the 5th of each month we’re going to review our budget vs. our actual spend, see how we’re doing toward our financial goals and make appropriate adjustments. So that seems like a good plan for reconnecting with these goals for the year. This New Year’s Resolution for Balance is not going to happen overnight or in a month but with some dedication it could be the resolution that finally sticks. And monthly check-ups will keep me honest.
Family: Be the best mom, sister, daughter I can be.
I know I’m a good mom, maybe even a great one, but I really want to make sure that the time I have with my children is quality time. I can get frazzled when I feel pulled in too many directions and that either leads to me being annoyed with their need for attention or taking the lazy way out (TV) because I have other things I need to do. You know, all that important stuff like dishes and laundry and making the bed. Well, that’s over. This year, puzzles and projects, making cookies and trips to the park take priority. Every minute with these little blessings – whether it’s a tantrum minute or a cuddly hug minute – is mine to embrace and treasure. Every time Sloane bursts into that 2-tooth smile with her big ol’ cheeks or the bottom lip pouting out is so precious. And every single thing that comes out of Tagg’s mouth is hysterical and amazing, and watching him figure out and master his world? Fascinating. No delusions here, I will probably still crack every so often but my other resolution is to accept that I am NOT superhuman and enjoy all the imperfections that create our perfect life.
I am also committing to my family…all of them. My parents work really hard to reach out to us and keep connections, as do Scott’s parents, and my Aunt Kris and Uncle Rick, and Tiff and Becky and Marc. I was bummed this year because we didn’t send Christmas presents to Scott’s nieces and nephews, not because they need stuff but because I just don’t know them well enough to know what they’re even interested in. Our parents are getting older and, again, every minute with them is a blessing and should be respected as such, not seen as a burden. So bring on the Sunday dinners and Monday night Skype sessions and birthday cards (which I SUCK at! Why is it so hard to buy stamps?!) and family vacations.
Health: Be strong and healthy and just do it!
I have literally packed on over 15 pounds since Tagg was born and yesterday, tipped the scale at my danger weight. Pants are tight. I feel gross. I know what to do, I just haven’t committed lately. So I’m in. I have a half marathon the first week of February that I haven’t trained for much but I will do every single run on my training plan between now and then. I am ditching the soda, kicking the wine (sniff) and doing the Zone diet – basically eating healthy. I know what to do…I just don’t always do it! (For the record, I am drinking wine while I write this.) I’m going to hit the gym 3 mornings a week and a couple of nights, and every Tuesday while I’m watching the Biggest Loser, I’m going to do all the exercises from that month’s issue of Shape. Well, the ones I have the equipment for. Hopefully, once I get dug out from Christmas debt, we’ll get an elliptical for the gym room too but in the meantime – Wii Dance Party, Wii Fit, the Jillian Michaels DVDs and my yoga DVDs are all there so I have no excuse, no matter what, not to exercise for at least 30 minutes every day. We’re going to ski hard, hike, wakeboard and waterski, and just have healthy, active, fun outside all year long.
My plan is that I will break a 2-hour half and a 2-hour tri this year. I am going to have the Jennifer Aniston body I aspire to so I can wear skirts all year long and feel good about it, like my arms and stomach again, and walk around the pool or the beach in my swimsuit without a cover up. As a matter of fact, I’m going to be in such good shape, I get to buy new jeans and a new bikini or two this year!
Love: Bring back the romance.
Two kids in two years, job up and downs, menopause and 10 years of marriage have taken a toll on the romance for us, there’s just no getting around it. We’re great partners but the spark is harder and harder to find under the piles of laundry, bills, dishes and life. I am committing to date nights – at least every 2 weeks and hopefully more. And to finding things we like to do together that don’t involve the kids and making the time to do them. I think we need to create some things that we can enjoy as a couple. It used to be working out and boating, but now those things feel like a relay race where you pass the baton of the kids to the other parent. Your leg of the race is fine, and you can talk about it with the other person afterwards, but there’s not much you’re experiencing together. It’s hard because we both love the kids so much and love being with them that it’s hard to carve out time for us that doesn’t involve them. I think Scott’s a good runner so I’m interested to see if we can run together with the jogging stroller and the kids (ugh! Pushing 50 pounds of kids sounds SO hard!). With Lightning McQueen (the nickname Tagg gave our little red ski boat) and mom and dad’s trailer, perhaps that will again become “our thing” this summer. Boating and camping, sometimes without the little ones. And even thought it’s hard to leave the babies, we need to do some trips that are just us, and some that are just adults. I fell in love with an unbelievably amazing man. Ten years ago, I married him. Today, he’s the best husband and father and a successful businessman but I’m looking forward to rekindling all of the passion and romance we started with, times ten!
Me: Be selfish.
In addition to the health stuff noted above, I need a little focus on me that doesn’t involve working out or shoe shopping (well, maybe shoe shopping still!). I am having so much fun writing the blog, and I love to cook, and read and I used to paint and make jewelry and do crafty things and decorate. I need to feed the soul again. I have a pile of books that I’m digging into. And Natalie and I are planning a book writing club where we meet every 2 weeks to check in on our story-writing progress. I started writing a book years ago and I need to find out what happens those characters. I love doing the photobooks and making the videos and want to make more time for that kind of stuff. This creative hunger needs to be fed! Sometimes I feel guilty for cooking big meals that not everyone appreciates but you know, it makes me feel good so it’s okay. Maybe I need to figure out how to do it so that I’m feeding some of the other goals too – like make dinner for friends or family. Paint with Tagg and Sloane. Part of this resolution is making sure I put myself at the top of the list, not all the time but enough (balance, remember?). It’s really easy to always be the last on the list, or feel guilty when you put your stuff ahead of anything else. Even the objective of this resolution kind of sucks. Why is doing stuff for me “selfish?” Part of the mom-life I suppose. But making time to work out, and love my husband, and do things with my friends, and promote my career is not selfish. It’s life. And it’s the best way to be a role model for my children. The only place I’m going to strive not to be selfish is money. I spend ridiculous amounts of my disposable income on disposable things. So the focus is on fiscal responsibility, savings (partially, so I can get my new kitchen!), and saving for the kids. Without jeopardizing all the other plans, of course! See? Balance!
Friends: Be one, have many.
I feel like our little group of friends, many of us have been together for 10 to 15 years, is drifting apart. I know some of it is that we’re in different places – some have older kids, some like us have little kids, some are single, everyone’s busy and broke and just getting by – but these people are like family and they deserve our time. We had a ball with the gang last night – kids going crazy, Wii Dance Party, gobs of spaghetti – and we had a great dinner with everyone for Tiff’s birthday where we actually got to talk and catch up. My friends are amazing! So I am going to do more to promote those relationships – plan dinner nights, camping trips, lunch dates or play dates. And I’m also going to work on developing some new friendships too – probably with other people like us who have jobs and little kids and wouldn’t mind drinking a glass of wine and making dinner at home while the midgets wreck the joint and we talk about potty training and preschool.
Career: Find the balance, feel the love.
Most days I love my job. I definitely like being good at my job. But I think it’s had a lot of priority over the years. And that’s probably the one place where creating balance is going to hurt. I’m not going to give up my evenings with my kids, my hubby, my family, my friends, and my self to work any more. Not like I have in the past. Work will get it’s due and I’ll kick ass as always but it’s not number 1 after hours. Maybe not even number 2, or 3, and some days it doesn’t even get a number. I want to make sure that I love what I’m doing. If the money and the satisfaction are not worthy of the sacrifices it’s not the right job. Things have been a little shifty lately so it’s something I’ll be watching this year.
So that’s a lot right? But it’s not too much. It’s just making this life the best life you can! I’ll be doing monthly check-ins to keep myself honest about my progress. Maybe some kind of star system. No matter what…this year that starts with 1/1/11 is all about balance.
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