are we family?

I got a "family" request on Facebook the other day from Paulie, Tagg's baby-daddy. I'm sure a lot of people would be shocked that we are Facebook-friends at all, but we are. And it's good. Don't get me wrong, when the first "friend" request came it was scary. In I was like...uh, no. It's my Facebook world. Really? Accept? Deny? Is there any winning move here? So we went with the trust thing and became Facebook friends. Leap of faith. That's what it's all about.

Sometimes it was a little too much, too easy to get caught up in their being-young lives. But it was good because it let us know that they were actually doing all of the things that choosing adoption was supposed to let them do - football games, dances, parties, graduation, picking colleges, first jobs, all the good stuff. And, frankly, it's sometimes the best way to keep in touch with them. Blogging ain't always that easy, but you can Facebook from anywhere - short and sweet, with photos? Easy.

So a few days ago, I get this family request from Paulie. And the only drop-downs I could choose to confirm him as "family" were like: father, brother, son, uncle, nephew, grandfather...Not even an "other" option. Huh. What to do now?

So I Facebook Paulie:

Hey you! got your family request - which I LOVE, don't know why that makes me feel good but it does. Really a lot. Oddly enough they make me put down a relationship, me and you, from a drop-down menu. So what do you want? Nephew, cousin, father in law (ha ha)? Weird, right?

And he responds:

yea im not sure what to put ether haha oh well just put what comes first 

It just seemed weird. We are, for all intents and purposes, family. But we're not the kind of family that fits in a drop-down menu. So I waffled all week about what to put, because somehow it means something how you categorize that relationship. Cousin is different than brother. Nephew is different than uncle. And I just don't know because those labels don't fit our world or our family relationship.

And now the request has disappeared. Ultimately, I don't really care whether Facebook recognizes us as a family. I do. And Paulie does. And that's what really matters.