happy birthday?

Tagg's baby-mama's birthday was this week. We've called her every year on her birthday and on Christmas and it's always been really sweet and wonderful. So this year we called and Tagg jumped in as soon as she answered and belted out his rendition of Happy Birthday. And it was weird.

We could tell she was a little choked up. Who wasn't?! (other than Tagg who was just quite pleased with his singing skills). So we tried to chat about life and birthdays and stuff and it still seemed really awkward. It felt like she was in a place where she couldn't talk or didn't want to talk and then we started feeling bad. So we hung up the phone, and spent the next hours slash days feeling more bad. And then even more bad...

Did we just completely 100% RUIN her 18th birthday with her friends or her boyfriend by having the baby she gave up for adoption call her for a b-day serenade? My God. How absolutely stupid are we?! That might have been the most tragic, horrible thing ever when we thought it was so super-sweet. Or would it have been worse if we'd called every year for the last couple and then didn't call at all? On a big b-day. Mind-numbing arguments can be made both ways. Trust me. We've been having them.

Definitely one of those moments where you wish there was some kind of handbook for this open adoption stuff. I hope she knows and believes that the call meant that we love her and are always thinking about her, every day but especially on the big days.  The call means that we are so happy that she is doing exactly what she was supposed to be doing on this important birthday - thinking about homecoming and what colleges she's applying to and volleyball and her boyfriend and hanging out with her girlfriends and just being 18. And the call means that the baby she gifted to us is doing and being all of the things she wanted for him, and that he will always be grateful to have her in his life. Hopefully that was the gift. And it wasn't an emotional white elephant.

So happy birthday, beautiful girl!