bad santa

I can't help it. Every time (okay, so that's both times) I wait in line for the kids to see Santa, I think about that movie and hope that our Santa isn't a complete obnoxious, horrible lush with a soft spot for a kid named Thurman Murman.

Luckily, the Santa we went to see at Thanksgiving Point was, well, amazing! Like real Santa. Real beard. Of course, to get this kind of experience for 2 bucks, you have to wait in a Disney-style superline for oh, an hour or so. Yes, an hour or so with three boys under 4 and a baby in a hot sweaty room with mean grandpa elves who won't let the kids touch anything and want you to squish "really close together" for some unknown reason.

Panoramic shot of the Disney-like line to see Santa. I wish
there was sound so you could hear the screams.

There are kids everywhere (it is Utah county, you know) which equates to about one meltdown per minute from various quadrants. And apparently people use this as their opportunity to take family Christmas card photos (can you take one more? one more? Lady! You have 6 kids! They are not all going to smile at the same time! Give it up!).

The adorable Hawkins family...
Amy, Dustin, Greyson and Henry.

It was fun to go with Amy and Dusty. We definitely don't get to see enough of them and the boys. Next year, hopefully, we'll be able to join them for the hayride after but this year, we were just pretty happy to make it home with a marginal digital photo, a funny story and our sense of humor intact!

Amy with Sloane & Hen.

Actual tiny reindeer. They were
about as real as the Santa...
he was awesome!

Neither Tagg or Sloane were scared of Santa. Whew!
Tagg's Christmas wish? Cars, of course.

the purple christmas tree

It was nap time...hence
the crabby face. Tagg perked up
when Santa coughed up the candy cane.

We went to help my mom and dad get their Christmas Tree on Saturday. Scott had seen this local tree farmer advertising on Channel 2 the other day. They had reindeer, a Santa, a hot tub and they flocked the morning stunt boy like a Christmas tree so we figured that would be a good place to try out. It was, as billed, AND the big giant tree my parents got was only 55 bucks! I call that a screaming deal for a real tree!

While we were there, we found...a purple Christmas tree. I don't know why, but it spoke to me and we ended up bringing home this flamboyant purple-flocked Charlie Brown tree. It's all of about 4 and a half feet high. I think it's cool! It totally fits with all the vintage ornaments I have from my childhood...these shiny, jewel-tone balls with santas and reindeers. And vintage ornaments seem to be all the rage this year. I found a bunch to match for 70% off...woot-woot! I never bargain shop for Christmas stuff! See, that's why I love the Purple Christmas Tree!

pay it forward...

I work with this amazing man named Bryan. I've never been lucky enough to meet his wife or his 5-year-old adopted son in person but I feel like I know them from how much he talks about them and share photos and stories and his love for them. It's pretty special and in my gut I know that these people need to have another baby in their circle of love.

I know my guy is an amazing hubby and he gushes over our kids in ways that are darling and wonderful but borderline unnatural, but this guy ADORES his child in ways you don't always expect from a dad. It's very cool. So, in the land of share-the-word-these-people-should-have-another-child, pass it on. They are amazing, they should have more children to nurture and love, and they caught the best web address ever! dreamhopebelieve.com

It's a little strange to see how this midWestern family has to navigate the adoption process. Utah is a whole different world. We never had to have our own URL (of course, that was all of 7 months ago!). I realize that we were incredibly lucky to find our kids, but I always hope that everyone has the same good fortune, especially you guys.

finger painting to face painting

...in 30 quick seconds. Tagg and I were working on some works of art on Saturday morning. I was totally out of the washable paints so we were using acrylics - risky but worth it. Or so I thought. Sloane started crying so I went to pick her up, turned back around and bam! Tagg had finger painted his face. Pretty impressive.

Even more impressive? The acrylics washed off really easily! We've been "naked painting" (him, not me) to preserve his clothes and luckily these paints came right off with a little soap and water. Of course, after we cleaned up, we went straight to the store and bought more of the washables. Just in case...

And the picture turned out lovely, too!

cutest gifts ever

I was up until 2am last night making Christmas books for both of the kids. It's not that hard to make the books, it just takes time to pick out which photos you want to use, upload them - and starting at 10:30 didn't help any!

I loved this design even though it's a Taylor Swift.
Seriously...how much money does this teenager make?

I checked out a few photobook sites and Photoworks has, by far, the best designs and the easiest program to use. (use this Photoworks coupon code to get the best deal...the others are just for shipping and the 20% seems to be a better deal - thanku).

I love this photo of Tagg...his Cars, all perfectly lined up,
the devilish grin, and the bandaid on the knee.
The whole book is adorable. It's so "2".

I think photobooks are amazing. Every time I make one - which I've done since we created our first adoption profile book - I am stunned at how easy it is, and how gorgeous the final product is. Can you imagine these children growing up and reading through the books of their life, chapter by chapter, with them as the star? Very cool. I wish I had that! Tagg already reads his birth book and we have photos of his birth family in there...photos I love because there will be a picture of me and Scott holding this itty-bitty adorable newborn boy, tears in our eyes, shock on our faces, utter and absolute joy in the moment, and there in the background are Tagg's birth parents and grandparents smiling. He'll always know that that day, no matter how difficult it was for everyone, was fueled by love and joy. Pretty cool.

We make photobooks for the kids and send them to their birth parents on big occasions like birthdays and Christmas. It's a lovely way to include them in the kids' worlds and to make sure that they have a tangible connection.

I remember Tagg's baby grandma saying that she had read our profile book hundreds of times before she met us, like it was an introduction to these strangers who would be raising their baby and who would soon, hopefully, become family of a sort. I always hope that they read these books over and over, like Tagg does, so they "know" these amazing little children. And, let's face it, I also hope and pray that they think they made the right choice because the can see that we are giving the kids everything they had hoped for and that we're raising good, loving, responsible people.

The Christmas Card: In case you don't get one because I can't
find an address or a stamp...here you go!

I'm not gonna lie. It's a lot of work managing relationships with four separate birth parents and their families. It's incredibly rewarding but it's also tough. How much is too much? How little is enough? You have to do everything times four. You worry about appearances, or at least I do! What is right, what's wrong, and why isn't there some kind of Adoption for Dummies that I can cheat from?! The best thing is that being accountable to birth parents keeps you honest. I HAVE to do the blogs. I HAVE to make the books. I HAVE to make sure that Sloane has as many pictures and videos and attention as the first-born. And that's awesome. (I'm sure every second child would agree!) And it ends up being awesome for all of us

So I'm not really sure how it's all "supposed to be." All I know is that Tagg and Sloane deserve to know their birth families and understand the love that brought them into our family and the love that embraces them from all different hearts. Their baby-parents and families deserve to know that our kids are super-fabulous and that their sacrifice was worth it, more so if they fulfill all of their dreams. A couple of all-nighters to get all that good stuff? No problem.

supermom...kinda

The faces of Christmas...hopefully,
it gets better.

 Last night, I went into SuperMom mode. You know what it is...leave work, pick up alterations, buy birthday gifts, drop favorite boots at the shoe repair shop, get gas, go home, hug and kiss and play with babies, make Pumpkin Crack and appies for holiday work potluck with 2-year-old while making tacos for dinner and cranberry-pecan muffins because for some reason I didn't already have enough to do, put up Christmas tree, calm screaming baby, clean up after 2-year-old who has launched two glass ball ornaments onto the tile floor while you were calming screaming baby, calm screaming 2-year-old who is mad he can no longer throw said glass balls, feed screaming baby...give up on "beautiful trimming the Christmas Tree with the family" vision and put both kids to bed before the adults lose it too, pour glass of much-needed wine and trim the tree in peace with husband while watching Modern Family, go to bed at midnight. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaa...

i know, you know

I don't know much about Elizabeth Edwards. She was a political wife, but also a lawyer and career woman in her own right. She was a mother who lost a child. A wife whose husband betrayed her. A sick woman who battled not only her own terminal cancer but also fought a battle to provide health care for those who aren't privileged enough to have that security. I never read her books, but I caught a couple of interviews with her and read a few articles she wrote. She seemed like a strong, gracious woman.

When she lost her battle with cancer today, I didn't know quite how to feel. I think when you're a survivor, you always fear having to go through it again and not being as lucky the second time around. I remember sitting in the chemo room after our honeymoon waiting to get my chemo fanny pack and pic line restocked with cancer-killing poison. There were a lot of older women there, all of them looking at me a little askance like, "What are you doing in here, girl, with your tan and your hair? Either you're waiting for someone so get out of our space, or you're one of us and we feel pity for you because you are too young to deal with all that we have." Most of them were dealing with round two of breast cancer and it was a bitch. Like, I beat it ten years ago and now it's back in my brain or I beat it 20 years ago and now it's back in my bones. Breast cancer is nasty. That's a scary reality when you're 30, and scary 10 years later. It's just scary.

I admire Elizabeth and her strength to fight the battle with such grace and fortitude. I found this quote in the news article today and I thought...yep, girl, you did it right.

"Either you push forward with the things that you were doing yesterday or you start dying," she said. "If I had given up everything that my life was about ... I'd let cancer win before it needed to."

Her Facebook farewell brought tears to my eyes, too:

"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human," she wrote. "But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. It isn't possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel to everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day. To you I simply say: you know."

I know, you know.